How Long Have I Been Living Like This?

The bed position hasn’t changed in a few months.

My love life hasn’t peaked in a few years.

My finances remind me of summers spent riding rollercoasters at six flags.

I call these people my friends but would rather be home alone.

My comfort is only in solitude.

I just watched someone on Instagram have a baby shower but the father wasn’t who I thought it would be… It makes sense now that I haven’t seen her on his page or mentions in a while.

I watched another person become a fiancé by surprise. They didn’t look wealthy, but they radiated happiness.

I want to become financially free but who would I spend the rest of my life with?

What could I teach my future children about the world and people?

I have a friend who moved to LA after she asked me what to do with her life & career?

Go. Explore the world & rediscover yourself in a different part of it.

Maybe you’ll become rich.                                                                

Maybe you’ll find your soulmate.

Maybe you won’t have to rely on coffee as the only stimulant to get you through the day…

Asking yourself things like “is my ex happy?”, “are my parents proud?”, “is this where I’m supposed to be in life?”

Year after year…

You might also ask questions like this, “how long have I been living like this?” 10:15pm on a Saturday night watching season 5 of Homeland…