13.1

Four months ago, I never ran past half a mile. Yesterday, I ran 13.1.

I like to shoot the shit with my clients while we’re training, and one day, I said that if you gave me two years and I did nothing else but train, I could run a marathon in like two hours. Someone who ran a marathon before said, “Oh yeah? How about you do the half marathon first.” This happened in December. I signed up for the Brooklyn Half through NYRR and had the unfortunate pleasure of being picked. I asked Joe Holder if he had a program I could buy, and he told me to download the Nike Running Club app. It was free, and honestly, for someone new to running, it’s exactly what I needed. 

I started running in late January and became injured within three weeks. I took two weeks off and came back apprehensive but determined. I also didn’t start running outside until one month before The Half and thank god I did because the race would’ve been tremendously more challenging. My only regret was that I didn’t run outside earlier in my program. I joked with people saying I have too much melanin to run outside, but that was bullshit. Running in the cold is hard, and I also foolishly thought I’d get sick—not true because I also ran in the rain and was gucci. 

Leading up to the race, I half-jokingly said I wanted to get hurt so I had an excuse not to run. One part of that became true—I strained my right calf six days before the race. I did what I could to alleviate the pain and man up. I came too far to give up. I also pressured myself to finish the race in under two hours, thinking that would make me happy and seem legit. That was bullshit. The win isn’t the time you take to complete a goal; it’s in the journey. The destination is just a cherry on top. You discover parts of yourself you didn’t know existed through adversity. 

The support I had from close friends helped. The guidance and encouragement from Marlon and Fitz were invaluable. One important lesson from this period is “pay it forward.” These two guys have done several races and just wanted to see their brother succeed. I’m forever grateful. 

Throughout training indoors, one method I used for motivation was two shadows. On the treadmill I used, and because of how the lighting is set up, I had two shadows running with me five days a week. I made up that my dad and mom were there to support me. When I told my mom I was doing the race, she told me it was her dream to run a marathon when she came to this country. Sadly, that didn’t happen. She also told me how proud she was to hear of what I signed up for. 

I got as much sleep as I could for the race. I was nervous and fine at the same time. When I feel overwhelmed, I talk less and think more. It’s like a calm before the storm moment. When I got to prospect park, I met two women with an incredible story. Everyone has a story; you never know what people have been through or are going through. Melissa came from Louisville, Kentucky, and Cecilia was from Texas. Mel’s husband died earlier this year from cardiac arrest while training for the race. Cecilia was his coach. Melissa decided she would run this race for him, and Cecilia was there to support her. 

I’m at the start, and it’s indescribable how it feels to move with a wave of people as one. I felt good and free of pain or worry in the beginning. There were random moments when I couldn’t stop smiling because I couldn’t believe what I was doing. Good things happen when you commit to a process. The moment I felt I would give up came approaching mile 9. The rain got the best of me and my feet. It felt like my toes were jamming into a wall with every stride and like someone was stabbing the arches of my feet, especially the left one. But I didn’t come this far only to come this far. I ran and walked the rest of the race. I was no longer concerned with time, only that I wanted to finish and see the smile on my mom’s face when I told her I did it. 

I finished with a time of 2 hours and 16 minutes. If you told me a year ago what I would do a year later, I’d call you crazy. It turns out I did something crazy after all. It always feels impossible until it’s done. 

First Olympic Weight Lifting Mock Meet

You won't be able to accomplish anything if your fear is bigger than your faith. 

Also if you let people who have never stepped outside of their comfort zone tell you what you’re capable of doing.

I come from the world of strength training and supplemental cardio.

I prioritize lifting heavy and getting some type of sweat in (for heart health).

My journey started with p90x and insanity.

It was my last month at college & limewire was one of my best friends.

I downloaded p90x, wrote down every exercise & how long each exercise should take.

That’s how obsessed I was with working out. I’m meticulous & like to get things done right the first time around.

Insanity was easier in terms of just doing what was on my screen but one of the toughest workouts I’ve ever done in my life… That was until I stepped into the world of CrossFit.

I remember googling how much CrossFit was back when I was just starting to get in shape.

Here’s one of those times where I believe everything happens for a reason.

The only thing I was proficient at was body weight exercises, beginner dumbbell routines, and finishing workouts with the sloppiest form.

I also didn’t have a job & the thought of spending $300+/month was ridiculous.

I was an ego lifter, I was a gym bro.

If I got what I wanted exactly when I wanted it, I might have suffered a lower back injury that would've changed the way I looked at fitness forever.

As time progressed I learned how to use the Barbell.

Trust me when I say everyone you look up to has had shitty form before.

I replicated what I saw people do on the Internet.

There’s too many times to remember when my lifting career should have ended early because I didn’t have the knowledge to know better.

I was more than fascinated at what the human body was capable of, I was obsessed.

Within two years at my corporate 9-5 job, I began studying to become a certified personal trainer. 

I needed an out & if there was one thing I’d rather be doing than crunch numbers & listening to negative people for hours on end was workout.

Honestly, I probably got into personal training for the wrong reasons but it has become something I couldn’t imagine not doing.

The gym saved my life and gave me the confidence I never knew I had.

This was until I started training/coaching people.

I believe that energy attracts energy.

Most of my clients were people that did not have confidence. 

Then I realized that everybody I came into contact with, had poor self image.

I felt a type of responsibility to help people never experience what I felt growing up…

To help them get past their own hurdles & self-imposed limitations.

I wanted to help people believe in themselves.

I wanted to teach people how to love themselves better.

I wanted people to realize how much stronger they are.

Honestly, I didn't want people to think about the ways they could kill themselves like I used to.

I wanted to show people the ways they mattered.

I became obsessed with figuring out how to keep people motivated and consistent.

Fast forward 2.5 years into personal training, I have the opportunity to take crossfit.

I took a body class at Solace New York, down the street from where I train at and instantly fell in love. 

This came at a time when I was struggling to keep up with my own workouts.

When I say “struggle” I mean have the enthusiasm to lfit, not one of those people who watch other people workout & comment on how I wish I could do what they do.

The only thing stopping you from becoming great is getting started.

I took my first class with Andrew Mariani & got my ass kicked.

That’s what CrossFit is right? Lol

I found out that there was an even tougher class Solace offered called CrossFit 20 but before you could join, you had to take foundations.

Foundations included push presses, kipping, and something I never dreamt would happen to me, olympic lifting.

To me, snatches and clean & jerks are the ultimate form of lifting.

These two exercises are very technical and combine the best of both worlds, strength & power.

I sucked at it & that was the catalyst for me becoming obsessed.

A lot of people shy away from things they don’t excel in.

Other people relish in the fact that there's an opportunity to get better.

Meet other people, me.

Solace has this amazing weight lifting cycle taught by the one and only Coach Nicholas Novak.

Coaches know good coaches.

I would call Novak the Alpha coach.

Not the coach who's going to make you feel better and coddle you.

Not the coach where you wonder if he knows what he's talking about.

Novak is the type of coach that has the ability to break you down but instead chooses to build you up stronger.

The type of coach I aspire to be like.

I have unsuccessfully completed two weight lifting cycles at Solace.

I'm well known for getting injured doing everything but working out.

Whether it's basketball or putting equipment back, I'm clumsy AF.

However, one thing that can’t be said about Abel is I don't quit. 

I can't give up. 

If I say I'm going to do something, it's going to get done.

So here we are, five months into weight lifting.

Very thankful for everything that has led up to this moment.

My first taste at olympic weight lifting...

I opened with a 135 lb Snatch

My second attempt was a 145 lb Snatch

I finished with a 160 lb PR Snatch

I opened my Clean & Jerk with 210 lbs

I missed my second & third attempt at 230 lbs

Thanks for reading this far.

How Long Have I Been Living Like This?

The bed position hasn’t changed in a few months.

My love life hasn’t peaked in a few years.

My finances remind me of summers spent riding rollercoasters at six flags.

I call these people my friends but would rather be home alone.

My comfort is only in solitude.

I just watched someone on Instagram have a baby shower but the father wasn’t who I thought it would be… It makes sense now that I haven’t seen her on his page or mentions in a while.

I watched another person become a fiancé by surprise. They didn’t look wealthy, but they radiated happiness.

I want to become financially free but who would I spend the rest of my life with?

What could I teach my future children about the world and people?

I have a friend who moved to LA after she asked me what to do with her life & career?

Go. Explore the world & rediscover yourself in a different part of it.

Maybe you’ll become rich.                                                                

Maybe you’ll find your soulmate.

Maybe you won’t have to rely on coffee as the only stimulant to get you through the day…

Asking yourself things like “is my ex happy?”, “are my parents proud?”, “is this where I’m supposed to be in life?”

Year after year…

You might also ask questions like this, “how long have I been living like this?” 10:15pm on a Saturday night watching season 5 of Homeland…

2017 in a nutshell...

12 things I learned in 2017…

1.     The ugly truth about working for yourself and starting a business.

2.     What “time” does to friendships.

3.     Feelings is a Hindrance to Success.

4.     Closure.

5.     Self-Worth.

6.     The Idea of Happiness.

7.     Expectations.

8.     Gratitude.

9.     Love.

10.  Escape.

11.  Growth.

12.  Evaluations.

The ugly truth about working for yourself and starting a business.

            I was able to take a leap of faith and leave my corporate 9-5 job November 30th 2016. December was a transition period. January, I was in the gym for the same number of hours and realized hours and effort aren’t transferrable. I’m an introvert. I’m a homebody. I was uncomfortable. People drain me. This was going to take some getting used to. If you want to be successful with people you’re going to have to get comfortable dealing with all kinds of people. Even the word “dealing” sounds bad, torturous. It doesn’t have to be. You’re naturally going to get along with some people, you’re naturally going to dislike being around others, that’s the beauty of life, everyone’s a surprise.

            When you don’t have a boss, every problem is your fault and you’re going to have to learn how to fix it. When you have a manager, you’re going to have to meet someone’s subjective standards of “doing a good job”. We’re not even going to get into politics because just the word alone makes me wince. Friends and family won’t support you because they “know” you and people would much rather support strangers & celebrities before respecting their own. Even if they do support, that word “discount” is going to be mentioned 12 times out of 10 requests… The ugly truth about working for yourself and starting a business is that you’re going to have to put in triple the amount of effort that you did at your comfortable 9-5 job and everyone you know is going to ask for a discount. Don’t lower your work capacity or your standards.

What “time” does to friendships.

            When you realize the time and effort required to get your business off the ground, you’re going to have less time for friendships. That means less happy hours, weekend brunches, and turn ups. If you’re neurotic like me, you’re going to feel guilty about having fun because taking time to do things you enjoy means you’re taking time away from being productive. If you’re not working, someone else is. If you’re not reading, someone else is. If you’re not building your dream, someone else is, and they’re going to hire people like you to work for them because you were slacking.

Feelings is a Hindrance to Success.

            Successful people know how to separate their feelings from their work. Your job has a goal and a deadline and if you let your feelings get in the way, you’ll never get anything done. Your manager or your clients don’t care that you’re upset over a partner or whatever it is that’s bothering if it’s not work related. You were paid to work & fulfill a service, not be emotional.

Closure

            This concept is just as foreign to me as the German language. There isn’t a deadline when it comes to healing, and who says you need to heal from something anyway. I don’t forgive, I don’t forget. I’m a person that’s fueled by negativity. If I’m happy or content, it doesn’t motivate me to work harder. If I’m angry or upset, I’m motivated to prove people wrong & shut someone up. That’s when I become competitive, when my worth is undervalued.

I gave up trying to get closure from her a long time ago, I moved on. There’s no positive outcome derived from sulking. Things happen, you get hurt, you move on with your life. You’re not always going to get the person or job you wanted, that’s life. Don’t force happiness, don’t go chasing after it either, be happy and attract happy. That’s the lesson I learned, so thank you Angela.

Self-Worth

            If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will. If you don’t set the precedent for how you want to be treated, everyone will treat you however they want to and it’s usually at your inconvenience. Confidence is the game-changer in life. Even if it doesn’t come natural to you, fake it well and notice the response from others.   

The Idea of Happiness

            Like all ideas, if you don’t have a plan of action, it will never come into fruition. I read something recently that went like this, we’re human BEINGS, not human DOINGS. Whatever you want to become in life, if you act like you already are it, it’ll happen quicker. BE confident, BE happy, BE successful.

Expectations

            You’ve set yourself up for failure if you’re expecting an outcome to occur because like most things in life, situations don’t plan out like we intend or prepare for them to. It also makes you think you’re working hard when you’re not. I was expecting to leave my 9-5 and within a year, have the life I’ve always dreamed of. BIG MISTAKE. Focus on the process more than the goal. It’s easier to see progress when you can measure baby steps.

Gratitude   

            It’s very difficult to have a bad day if you begin with being appreciative of the things you have in life: health, family, love, a job, and if you’re lucky enough, your purpose. If I take time to reflect on the positive things I have going in my life, it’s hard for me to be negative. Change your perspective, change your direction, change your life.

Love

            I love helping people realize the power they have inside through personal training. I love helping people gain control of their life by changing their mindset and their daily habits. Big results happen from small changes.

Escape

            We’re not robots. Working 24/7 and grinding with little sleep is not the way we were designed to live. It’s okay to take a mental break every now and then. Just like we charge our electronics, we also need a recharge. Find time to enjoy the one life we were gifted because once it’s gone, you’re left with the regret of memories you didn’t create.

Growth

            I used to be late to EVERYTHING in life. Until I had my time devalued, I didn’t realize how selfish I was towards others. I never planned things out days in advance or had a daily checklist. I thought my brain was good enough to remember everything I had to do from the moment my eyes opened till the moment I rested my head to sleep… I was wrong.

            I started leaving the house 10 mins earlier, I arrived to places 15 mins earlier. I started filling out my calendar with appointments, made a daily checklist and planned out events days in advance, the result? I was well prepared and didn’t have to panic the day of and my stress significantly reduced.  

Evaluations

            The ability to self-assess. I out grew a lot of bad habits this year when I realized there was no one to protect me and lookout for me. It was all on me. You are your own brand. How you handle situations and people, speak to others, and what you post on social media are all reflections of who you are. Would you be proud to be associated with you if you weren’t you?

            I don’t need to be in a relationship. I don’t bring anything worthy to the table besides an appetite. I don’t need a million and one certifications, it’s better to be great at a few things than average at a lot of things. I don’t need a bunch of friends, just a few that share the same principles as myself. If we’re not growing, we’re dying, there is no “standing still”. The universe is constantly expanding and so should we…