Lessons I Learned in 2024

You learn from the process, not the win

It’s the journey, not the destination that brings value. The unbreakable bonds you create with people through adversity shape who you become. What seemed like an eternity to go eventually came to a close, and through that, I learned that everything is temporary: suffering & joy. From going back to school to beginning a nursing career, everything seemed to move in the blink of an eye.

The end is constantly evolving & changing. My “end” was nursing school, then it was the NCLEX, then it was to start working, and now it’s to become good at my job. True “end” is death, and until that moment arrives, I will use my youth to deliver compassionate care & guidance.

You cannot use someone else’s map to find yourself. I find myself looking up to experienced nurses the same way I used to with personal trainers. There’s nothing wrong with admiration, but we do that mainly because we haven’t invested time in skill development. There’s no shortcut or easy path to gain confidence. I’m learning that sometimes, the answer lies in slowing down, taking your time, or doing nothing. Also, repetition teaches you when to say no, which is the skill of discernment. It’s not my job to know everything; it’s to stay within my scope of practice & defer when I feel my hands will do more harm than good.

Problems don’t disappear the more you run away from them; they grow, compound, & become more difficult to bear

If you don’t understand how money works, it will control your life. The best analogy I can come up with is that if you are trying to lose weight, the best way to control your weight is to understand how calories work. Without understanding the basic principles of calories in versus calories out, you’ll spin your wheels and quit due to frustration. Budgeting is a new concept for me because I’ve never had maturity alongside a consistent paycheck and multiple income streams.

I recently discovered the 50-30-20 budgeting rule. If you looked at my spending habits, you’d think everything was a “need.” Until a month ago, I spent money without care and tried to plug whatever debt leaks I could find with the money I had left. I can’t say, “I want to be debt-free within 3 years of graduating from nursing school,” without devising a plan. I can’t say, “I want to lose weight,” without figuring out my macro targets or analyzing my diet.

I wish I could have told my younger self to watch YouTube videos about budgeting, building an emergency savings account, and interest. The earlier you learn, the faster you can work towards getting out of debt.

No one else can feel the anger you hold within

I lean towards having an anxious attachment style. I also don’t have much of a filter when my mouth opens. I’m also more emotional and sensitive than the average person, especially a man. I wear my heart on my sleeves and choose to speak from the heart. I hate small talk and avoid it at all costs.

However, I know there are better ways to communicate than being “brutally honest” because that can come off as insensitive. With age, I’ve learned that people know exactly what they’re doing, and sometimes, you pay the price for someone else’s growth. Some people only consider what’s best for them, and you may not be it for them… now or ever.

Everyone has a season in your life, and the universe has a better plan for you. It’s either resting my faith in that concept or driving myself crazy.

The older you become, the older your parents do, too

I read a long time ago that, on average, by the time you turn 18, you’ve spent about 90% of your time with your parents. That concept didn’t click with me at 18 but has significantly impacted my thought process at 36.

If you’re fortunate to have a parent or both parents left, how well do you know them? I found myself hanging out with my mom in mid-September, shedding a tear, expressing to her that if she were to pass soon, I don’t think I know who she really is.

As I grow older and mature, so does she. I know my mom, but do I know Asmeret? The truth is, I don’t think so. So, what am I doing to rectify this feeling? FaceTime with her as much as possible when I can’t visit her and discuss my day in the ED. She shares similar experiences, and then the conversation drifts into other areas.

You don’t lose the right people when you speak from the heart

Everyone belongs with people who care, and what is meant for you will arrive in clarity, not confusion. You can’t pour from an empty cup, nor can you fill up a bucket if there are holes present. I assume everyone’s working on something or avoiding doing the work to progress in life or heal from the bullshit. What I’ve learned in 2024 is not to make someone else’s problems my problems. You only have so much bandwidth, and I hope you don’t waste it on the wrong people—another reminder: a relationship isn’t a reward for working on yourself.

Friendship takes work

It’s hard to make time for the people you care about. Sometimes, schedules don’t match up. That doesn’t mean the love has been lost. I hope 2025 brings more get-togethers that make it out of the group chat.

Kindness is not a wasted action

It’s the currency of humanity, even if the right person does not appreciate it. Treat people with kindness; you have no idea what people are secretly struggling with. And sometimes, one act of kindness could save someone’s life.