The Reverse Transformation
I don’t have to spend much time talking about how much damage I did to my body during Covid because a lot of people experienced the same hardships. The challenge I face in my industry as a fitness professional is having a body that not only looks strong but looks good, and the latter is more important as far as first impressions go. The predicament I found myself in was this: what's the point of eating healthy and exercising regularly if there's no one to see, and if there's no one to see, who cares and why bother keeping up with a routine?
That was the beginning of my downfall. I indulged every desire I had, going back to bad habits such as smoking weed consistently, and eating the most delicious foods every single day with no regard towards calories or health. Maybe this is where you found yourself too, filling the void with questionable decisions in the most questionable time period of most of our lives. If the future is uncertain, so will my ability to get back on track. When you’re not motivated to do the right things, you find out where your priorities lie.
The only type of transformations you see on the internet are the ones where someone changes their body for the better and tells you all the things they had to sacrifice to become better. What about the transformations where someone gains an absurd amount of weight and discusses the decisions that led them there?
Your environment influences your habits and decisions. If you make it easy to choose bad habits, you only have so much willpower until you give in. I was lucky enough to receive unemployment, and with that money coming in without having to do any work for it, I spent it just as fast and easy as it came in. Every meal was ordered on doordash and if I didn’t feel like driving or riding my bike downtown to the gym, uber was on immediate reserve. I rarely bought groceries, I didn’t meal prep, I didn’t have a night time routine or set bed time, I worked out when I felt like it and that feeling of wanting to better myself decreased as the amount of time staying at home increased.
I believe that everything in life happens for a reason and life comes at you in phases. I believe for how hard I worked at being a personal trainer for 4 years (at the time) taking very little days off and spending most of my waking hours serving others, I was burned out. I’ll never get to experience that type of freedom again in my life and based on the results from the first experiment, I don't think I want to experience that type of freedom again. When you don't have someone to answer to, when you don't have anywhere to be, when you don't have any goals you're working on, is that the kind of life worth living if you are just existing?
When you know what you should be doing but don’t, how do you make the change you need to? You’re always one decision away from a completely different life. I’m not here to tell you how to be better because that would make me a hypocrite. I guess the point of me writing this is to tell you you’re not alone and we share more in our struggles than we do our successes. I’m also here to remind you that you have the power to change at any moment, but if nothing in your routine changes then nothing in your life will change either.
I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight twice in my life, the first time was 63 lbs starting at 250 lbs,
The second time was 30 lbs starting at 217 lbs.
Today, I’m writing this waking up to 238.8 lbs, 3 months away from my 33rd birthday.
Let’s see where I end up and hopefully my honesty inspires you to do the same. Be honest with yourself because you can only put up a facade for so long...
Cardio Before Or After Weights?
Before you tell me what you’ve always done, ask yourself if you’re happy with the way your body looks?
Are you happy with the way your body performs in the gym?
If the answer is no then telling me what you’ve always done is not going to change my mind.
In most cases, my answer would be “It depends.”
This isn't most cases.
For the majority of people in America, fat loss is the goal.
Fat loss depends entirely on diet. How much is entirely? About 80-85% which means the majority.
What you do for movement will enhance strength and to a degree, aesthetics.
It's not the fact that you want to lose weight, it's that you want to lose weight and look good naked.
For that purpose, lifting weights should be the priority and cardio is supplemental as well as optional.
Do you have to choose either or? No
However, I believe in doing the least amount of work to get the most amount of benefits.
Contrary to popular belief, I spend about one hour a day, 3 to 4 times a week working out.
The days of me working out for 3 to 4 hours are long gone.
The more literature I read, the more people I train, the more I learn about how the body works and how to pair that with what people want.
If you like spending 2+ hours in the gym, be my guest.
If you like being efficient in the gym, less is more meaning pick 1-3 exercises per muscle group and lift heavy.
If you want to add cardio to your workout, only do so when your calories are in check and you don’t want to decrease your calorie intake further.
Another reason to do cardio after your workout is if you actually like it.
Here’s another reason why I suggest cardio after weights.
Strength training builds muscle.
Cardio builds aerobic capacity aka conditioning.
It’s harder to strength train when you’re fatigued from cardio.
It’s easier to do cardio even when you’re fatigued from strength training.
You’re also more likely to injure yourself in a fatigued-state lifting weights versus doing cardio.
So to answer the question about cardio before or after weights... Weights first, cardio after IF YOU WANT.
The only scenario I can think of where you would do cardio before weights is if you're training for a cardio-based event.
Training for a marathon?
Training for a swim?
Training for cycling?
Cardio first.
However, there are numerous amounts of literature that explains how strength training improves cardiovascular ability…
But that's a different conversation for a different day.
Best Dietary Supplements To Lose Weight
Which supplements should you buy for losing weight and dropping body fat is tough. I explain what you should look for in this article.
If you think buying 1, 2, maybe 15 dietary supplements is going to help you lose weight… you’re absolutely right. The question to ask here is why are you spending a shit-ton of money on supplements in the first place? I want to save you money and years of frustration with this one piece of advice. If you’re not strength training at least 3x a week, if your nutrition is not at least 80% aligned with your goals, if you’re not getting a minimum of 6 hours of sleep a night, buying supplements will not be your answer. If you’re new to losing weight or if you’ve been unsuccessful with keeping the weight off, I want to teach you How To Track Your Macros and How to Lose Weight Without A Diet. Hopefully you will learn something new after reading those two quick articles. Now, I’m going to quickly explain the pros and cons of supplements that are most beneficial for weight-loss without boring you to death.
The role of dietary supplements is to complete or fill in the gaps you need help with in your diet. Do not be the old Abel who wasted thousands of dollars on pills like Hydroxycut and other fat burners thinking that if I took these pills, I could eat whatever I want & lose fat. Did I lose weight, yes, but what happened when I got off those pills is that the weight came back and some more. Sound familiar? It took me years to understand my body and nutrition (this process never ends for the person who wants to get better) so my intention here is to help you prevent making the same mistakes I did and years of frustration.
A weight-loss supplement should do a few things:
Reduce Appetite
Increase fat burning
Reduce fat absorption
Increase the feeling of satiety (feeling full)
For all the benefits you can get with a weight-loss supplement, you should be aware they also have side effects that will make you think twice before making a purchase. Supplements aren’t regulated by the U.S Food and Drug Administration (FDA) which means companies can lie about the ingredients and dosage as well as the damage it can do to your body that isn’t reversible (like death). The most popular ingredients have been banned (Ephedra, Hydroxycut products, Fen-Phen, and Meridia) by the FDA because of harmful side effects like:
Increased Heart Rate
High Blood Pressure
Agitation
Diarrhea
Sleeplessness
Kidney Damage
Liver Damage
Rectal Bleeding
Now for the part you’ve been waiting for. Best Dietary Supplements to lose weight:
Caffeine: Has the ability to boost metabolism and increase fat burning short term. Caffeine is found in a lot of weight loss pills for its effect on blunting hunger & increasing performance during workouts. The best sources of caffeine are found in coffee, green tea and preworkouts. To those that don't know the side effects of overconsumption, too much caffeine can cause anxiety, insomnia, jitteriness, irritability, nausea, and diarrhea to name a few.
Green Tea Extract (GTE): Included in a lot of weight loss supplements. The main antioxidant in it, ECGC, promotes fat burning. Studies show that GTE increases the activity of norepinephrine, a hormone that helps you burn fat, and can target belly fat directly. All of the benefits you get from GTE is also found in Green Tea.
Protein Powder: Your muscles are built by protein. Protein is the one macronutrient that burns the most calories through the digestive process and the one macronutrient that fills you up the most compared to carbohydrates and dietary fats. What this means is by increasing protein intake, you’ll reduce the urge to overeat foods that won’t help your body composition, strength, or staying in a calorie deficit. Protein powder is a great alternative option when you can’t cook or buy protein rich foods. Caution, protein powder is a supplement and substitute in your diet when you need help reaching your protein goals, protein powder should not be your go-to source of protein.
The first two supplements are included in a lot of weight-loss supplements because of their effectiveness. But are you interested in buying supplements or having long-term results? If that answer is yes to results that last forever, you shouldn’t buy another supplement until you have a basic foundation on nutrition, until you’ve tried different meal plans or until you’ve started tracking the calories you eat. If you’re being fed supplements without education, you’ll forever remain a prey to marketing and your life will become one big spinning wheel where progress is dangled in front of you like a carrot but can’t taste it. I want to help you make better decisions that will stick with you for a lifetime.
Here’s a list and explanation of the supplements I take everyday that I think anyone can benefit from, especially those looking to lose weight. Remember, the role of a supplement is to add to your diet, filling in the gaps where you need help the most. In order for you to lose weight, it’s less about buying quick fixes and more about a lifestyle change.
Multivitamin
No one’s diet is perfect and because of this, no one is getting the right amount of nutrients for their lifestyle.
What I use (here)
Fish Oil
I don’t eat fish daily (high dietary fat reasons) so I get my Omega-3 (EPA/DHA) source in pill form. If you like having considerably less joint pain and inflammation, this supplement’s for you.
What I use (here)
Protein Powder
I can’t get 240g of protein from food alone, protein powder provides convenience & eliminates excuses.
Meal Replacement shake (my favorite is cinnamon cookie batter)
Post Workout Shake (Ignition makes the shake taste like ice cream)
Creatine
Increases lean tissue mass (muscles), performance in the gym and strength.
What I use (here)
Coffee
I like my coffee black with liquid stevia. This helps eliminate the need for sugar and milk (calories), blunts hunger so I can extend my Intermittent Fasting (source), and increase focus and energy.
Fat Loss Stack for Men and a Fat Loss Stack for Women from 1st Phorm (optional)
This supplement helped me fall asleep faster with better quality sleep, increase my focus and energy like coffee, and controlled my appetite.
Action Steps You Can Take Now
Start tracking you calories for weight-loss today! Learn how here
Lose weight without a diet. Learn how here
Use Intermittent Fasting to lose weight. Learn how here
Hit your Goal Body Weight in protein every day. Find your protein number here
Strength Train 2-3 times a week. Have 1 Day of cardio if you want. Don’t have a routine? Send me an email & I’ll give you a FREE 4 week program here: abel@aymhigher.com with the subject “4 Week AYM Higher Program”
How To Lose Weight Without A Diet
What would change about your life if you lost weight?
More confidence? More happiness? More sex?
Are you looking for the fastest way to lose weight or the best way?
We want the body we see on the internet only by doing 7-minute abs or a 3 week keto-diet because that’s what is promised to us by “fitness professionals” as achievable.
Anyone with a high social following has a lot of responsibility & for the majority of “influencers”, they are paid on how much they can sell, not how accurate their products are. They want to sell you something that is a quick fix because they have a quota to hit versus someone who takes the time to educate you on a long term sustainable weight loss process.
The fastest way to lose weight is built upon motivation.
The best way to lose weight is sustained through discipline.
This article is going to outline 3 principles to losing weight, they are:
Calorie Deficit
High Protein Intake
Strength Training
Calorie Deficit
A calorie deficit means you’re eating below your maintenance level in calories. Maintenance level is the amount of calories it would take for you to remain the same weight, anything below that is a deficit. There’s two ways you can create a calorie deficit, decreasing input of calories consumed or increasing output of calories burned. How big a deficit you should be in varies based on how aggressive do you want to take it. Someone who is overweight with a high body fat percentage can have a more aggressive calorie deficit compared to someone who weighs less. Why? Because speed is the one thing people manipulate and speed is the reason why most people quit their weight-loss journey. If you’re not overweight, an aggressive diet (more than 25% deficit) is too fast of a drop that it shocks your body & brain. There is such a thing as too few calories & if you eat too few, your body’s ability to function properly will be impaired. Your body is going to think “starvation mode” & your metabolism will shut off. Your body will spare muscle during this phase & hold onto fat because fat protects your organs for survival. Also, with setting too large of a calorie deficit, you get very hungry very fast & can’t maintain that low calorie intake for too long before you binge eat & gain all the weight you lost plus more. Nutrition is 80% of the change required to lose weight, Activity (workouts + non-workout movement) is 20%. Keep this in mind.
How Much Should My Deficit Be?
It depends on how much you want to lose & how fast do you wanna get there. There’s 3,500 calories in 1 lb. If you created a 500 calorie deficit & did that consistently for 7 days (500 x 7 = 3,500), you’ve just lost 1 lb. For example, I weigh 200 lbs, if my maintenance level is 2,500 calories & I only consume 2,000 calories/day (a 500 calorie deficit), I would be on pace to lose 1 lb by the end of the week. If you wanted to lose 2 lbs/week, you’d create a 1,000 calorie deficit & do that consistently for 7 days. With this information, there’s two types of people, one who sees 1 lb/week as doable, & one that sees 1 lb/week as not enough progress. But if you created a 500 calorie deficit & did that for 52 weeks, you’ve just lost 52 lbs. Still not enough progress? Just a reminder, there’s no finish line & you don’t get extra points for getting there the fastest.
How To Calculate A Calorie Deficit?
First you need to know what your BMR is. I’m gonna save you the trouble of explaining how many methods I’ve gone through over the years. I like using the Katch McArdle Formula because it uses lean mass instead of body weight in its BMR equation. Why is that important? Because the amount of body fat one has influences how big a deficit that person will be in. Remember earlier, If you have more weight/body fat to lose, you can set your diet more aggressively versus someone who doesn’t have as much to lose. Instead of trying to figure out the complicated computations you’d have to do in order to get a close-to-accurate deficit, download Mike’s Macros & it will change your relationship with food & your life forever. Another simple way of calculating calories came from my friend Jordan Syatt, multiply your goal weight by 10, 11 or 12. 10 is aggressive, 12 is moderate, 11 is in between.
For example, I weigh 200 lbs, my goal weight is 190 lbs so my calculations would be:
190 x 10 = 1,900 cals (aggressive)
190 x 11 = 2,090 cals (happy place)
190 x 12 = 2,280 cals (moderate)
Do Diets work?
Yes. If you google any type of meal plan for weight-loss, they all work, they’re not magic. The #1 factor that will help you lose weight is counting calories. Also, creating a deficit through nutrition is much easier than creating it through exercise. If you ate an apple every day for 30 days, its calories wouldn’t change. However, if you ran a mile a day for 30 days, you would burn more calories on day 1 vs day 30 because your body isn’t conditioned for it; but, as time goes on, your body adapts to the stress of running and you perform it more efficiently, burning less calories on day 30.
High Protein Intake
Now that we have a better understanding of what you need to focus on when setting up your calorie deficit, next priority is protein. More protein is going to help you feel sexy & strong, here’s why:
Boosts Metabolism
Reduces Appetite
Changes Several Weight-Regulating Hormones
How?
Your brain has many functions, one of it is hunger control. Our brain processes information all day, & it changes after consuming food. We have satiety (appetite reducing) hormones & hunger hormones. The more protein you eat, the less hungry you become. Out of all three macronutrients, protein, carbs, & fats, protein is the one macro that takes the most amount of calories to burn through digestion & metabolism. What does this mean? There’s this thing called TEF (Thermic Effect of Food), & protein has the highest TEF ranging between 20-30%. Let’s say for example, you had a meal that contained 100 calories of protein, 20-30 of those calories are going to be burned through digestion. Metabolism is the process of converting the food we digested into the fuel/energy we need to live. A high protein diet helps us achieve that. Protein helps build & maintain muscle mass, maintaining muscle mass burns more calories at rest than maintaining fat mass does, therefore, by increasing protein intake & building our muscles, we’re boosting our metabolism.
How Much Protein Do You Need?
This is tricky because the best answer for you is “it depends”. The Dietary Reference Intake is only 46 & 56 grams for women & men, respectively. That’s insane but then again, this is the minimum amount to prevent deficiency. What we’re interested in is building muscle & losing fat & for that matter, let’s talk numbers. Men & women process protein differently meaning, men have a slight advantage when it comes to consuming protein (I realized this from working with clients, I don’t have a scientific explanation for it). How much protein you need is based on preference. Some people can eat a lot, some can’t. It’s also harder if you’re vegetarian/vegan. The easiest way to get more protein in your diet is protein shakes so if you’re not at least getting one, one a day is going to make a big difference in your physique over time.
Aim for your goal body weight in grams of protein/day & go from there. For example, my goal body weight is 190 lbs so at the minimum, I’m aiming for 190 grams of protein every day. Keep in mind, the lower your calories go, the higher your protein intake should be. The reasoning here is protein is going to help build or retain as much muscle as you can, the more muscle you have, the less body fat you have as well, & the more calories you burn at rest. The biggest issue with being in a calorie deficit is losing muscle along with weight and the reason why we don’t want to lose much muscle mass is to avoid the “skinny fat” look. Your goal isn’t just to lose weight, it’s to lose weight & look sexy naked. You will avoid “skinny fat” with developed muscles.
Strength Training
"How important is strength training for weight-loss?"
"If I only did cardio, is that good enough to lose weight?"
The truth is you can lose weight doing both.
What’s going to get you there the fastest?
A combination of both with a focus on lifting supplemented with cardio.
If you had to choose? Strength training > cardio.
Strength training 2-3x/week with the right amount of intensity is what you should aim for. What people don’t understand about working out with weights is the calories you burn is not confined to just your time in the gym. You’re burning calories after the gym while your body is recovering, about 24-48 hours. Strength training builds muscles, which in turn boosts you metabolism, & muscle burns more calories at rest than fat does. The benefits of strength training is not limited to body composition. The stronger you become, the better you look, the more confidence you gain, the happier you feel & the better you treat people. Strength training is what led me here. Years of depression & insecurity about how I looked was diminished when I saw the results of consistency. I’ve been blessed & fortunate to help others in their weight-loss journey through paying attention to their own nutrition & working out 2-3 times a week.
Cardio can be supplemented 2-3x/week with varying intensities. HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) cardio can be performed 1-2x/week, one example is sprints performed for 30 seconds with 60 seconds of rest with multiple sets. There’s a different type of cardio you can do called LISS (Low Intensity Steady State). LISS is cardio performed at a low intensity meaning your heart rate isn’t working hard. An example of LISS would be walking on the treadmill at an incline & speed that’s not too challenging (5% incline, 2.5 speed). What I love about this type of cardio is it’s a form of active recovery so for people that “need to do something everyday”, this is a great option. It’s an easy way to burn calories & recover from workouts faster.
While most people choose cardio over strength training for weight-loss, what I want you to get from this article is that the progress you want to see is not going to happen overnight. Ads you see about fat-burning pills, new diets, “fat burning workouts” are designed to prey on the weak-minded individuals who are impatient & looking for a quick solution. If you’ve tried to lose weight before & didn’t succeed, it’s not your fault. To the uninformed, everything looks like it could work but the truth is, changing your body, which took you months or years to get into this shape is not going to be solved in days or weeks. You’ll win this game if you have patience, if you can be consistent, & not quit every time you “fail”. You can’t fail if you keep going. You’re going to have many setbacks because life isn’t perfect, but the people I’ve seen become a success story, are the people who never gave up.
Action Steps You Can Take Now
Start tracking you calories for weight-loss today! Learn how here
Hit your Goal Body Weight in protein every day. Find your protein number here
Strength Train 2-3 times a week. Have 1 Day of cardio if you want. Don’t have a routine? Send me an email & I’ll give you a FREE 4 week program here: abel@aymhigher.com with the subject “4 Week AYM Higher Program”
2019: Year Of Offense
I was 24 years old.
I just had a second operation on my chest. I was “diagnosed” with gynecomastia. Some people call them "large male breasts", others call them "Bitch Tits", either way, it was something I struggled with my entire childhood & was going to take over my adult life…
I had this same operation a year prior. Long story short, we decided to take a risk and have a no-scar-surgery that would eliminate this problem that became a part of my identity. It didn’t work and I suffered another year of insecurity because every time I looked in the mirror, I saw two reasons why I wasn’t a man, I wasn’t attractive, I wasn’t good enough…
The first tattoo I got was to cover my scars…
Two years of diet & training. The first time I looked in the mirror shocked at what I saw…
I was 25 years old.
What started out as another night out with my best friend, ended up being the night I met the girl of my dreams, or so I thought. We got into an argument because I took the side of the girl that he was dating at the time. I was always a third wheel, something I've grown accustomed to being, again, I was getting closer to the body that I wanted but still miles away from the confidence I needed. My best friend left me to go do a DJ gig, my phone was on 3%, if felt like my world was coming to an end. I relied on Austin for my social life. I’m an introvert & a homebody by nature. I was also broke as shit so I told myself I was the lucky one that he even wanted to be friends with me & take me places. The only thing that was on my mind was getting to him so I could apologize. Despite having a few drinks in my system, I was able to locate him and we immediately had a conversation. Next thing I know, I get a tap on my shoulder followed by the question: "are you QuoteAbel?”. It was from the girl that I was in love with through Instagram.
Eight months later, on and off dating, the main thing that I feared from day one finally happened. So afraid to lose something I work so hard at making last, I was blind sided with "we need to talk”. It wasn’t the closure conversation that saves you years of frustration & suicidal-depression, it was the type of conversation that fuels insecurity & kills any type of dignity you had. It was the second & last time I gave everything I had to one woman. Despite my valiant efforts, I wasn’t assertive, I wasn’t a man, I wasn’t good enough…
Hollywood Millz
Angela
I was 28 years old.
I was two years into my corporate job, I was making good money for the first time in my life, I was also a soulless zombie. My prior years of creativity were dead. I didn’t care about music, I didn’t care about poetry, I didn’t care about anything besides working, working out & making more money. 6 months prior, I finally decided to study for my personal training certification. I couldn’t last one more second at that job but wasn’t assertive or man enough to leave. The people around me were negative, the commute was always crowded, the gym was always packed, I was living for the weekends.
August 2016, after 6 months of spending all my free time studying, I passed the NASM CPT test. FUCKING ECSTATIC! I spent the next month training a few friends for cheap just to get experience & money in. September 2016, I spent my birthday in Dominican Republic. I could get used to this. Work 9-5 & train people afterwards until I had enough clients/money to leave that soul-sucking job. It’s funny whenever you think you have a plan of how things will go, the universe likes to throw a wrench in there to show you who’s the real boss. I came back from DR & we had a meeting (something that never happens unless it’s bad news). Long story short, no one in that department had a job anymore & we had two months to figure out what to do next. I stayed on for the transition period & after two months, I was offered another position in the company or, take my severance & look for something else. I just turned 28 years old. I didn’t have any real responsibilities. I didn’t have a girlfriend or a child. This was it for me. This was my chance to see what I was made of. It was my time to see if the life I wanted to live was possible. No one was going to baby me anymore. How great do you want to be? How bad do you want it? Are you good enough?
Collateral Analyst. After hours
Puerto Plata, DR
I’m 30 years old.
I’m at my 3rd personal training job.
It took me almost two years to feel comfortable in this profession.
Two years of failing, doubting myself, & grinding.
What I’ve learned is the harder you work, the faster the results come.
What’s overwhelming at the beginning, becomes routine after a few months.
If you do right by people, help out as many people as you can for free, experience & character grows exponentially.
When you focus on becoming a better version of yourself daily, instead of comparing yourself to others, that momentum lands you new opportunities.
If you live in your truth, no one can own you.
OVER DELIVER EVERY TIME!
Consistency > Perfection
Discipline > Motivation
Waiting for closure is like holding your breath, it feels like you’re dying the longer time passes.
If you give up, you’ll never reach your goals.
Which brings us to the title of this blog, Offense. It took me 30 years to realize why I’m not where I want to be yet. I was waiting for someone to save me. I was waiting for things to happen. I was waiting for permission, to be told it’s okay for you to try a little harder now, you’re ready for what’s next. The truth is, you’ll never be ready for what’s next until you start now. I thought surgery was going to fix my body image issues, I thought Angela was going to be the last girl I was ever with, I thought that 9-5 was going to be the last job I ever had… There’s a few things I’m certain of, if you don’t like your body, do something about it. If you don’t like your job, do something about it. If you don’t like feeling hopeless, do something about it!
The road to becoming is a long journey that will test your faith, resiliency & strength.
Every “no” is a speed bump, not a dead end.
& If you’re good enough, NO ONE is stopping you... You’re more than capable.
If you want to lose weight, google is your best friend, or hire a coach.
If you want to get further in business, read a shit load of “how to’s”, or hire a mentor.
You have a gift & a story that needs to be shared, to save someone else’s life, to remind them that things they wish for, dream about, cry about is possible with faith & work. Sacrifice something now for something better in the future.
Here’s to a productive & offensive 2019.
Structure Personal Fitness
Heavy Is The Head Who Wears The Crown
There’s people in this world who honestly have no friends or family left… then there’s people like me.
I have a Mom, Brother & Niece. I have plenty of friends that I can call or text everyday w/o any limitations.
However, This was me on Thanksgiving Day 2018.
I just checked my photos app from a year ago & also… no picture of food, family or friends.
I like to rely on the descriptions “introvert” & “homebody” as my reasons aka excuses for wanting to be alone a majority of the time & excluding myself from get togethers.
What this technique has brought me is distance vs the things in life we enjoy but can’t buy, love.
If you’re feeling sorry for me at this point, don’t.
I believe every adult is more than capable of choosing his/her fate.
You can’t have your cake & eat it too.
You can’t have the space for quiet as well as the presence of love.
You can't be selfish with other people's time when it's convenient for you.
A day that's created for busy people to connect with the people that they love, I chose to spend it doing the "important thing" that I value.
How did I get here?
I chose myself again and again to the point where I didn't make time for others.
You can't tell someone that you miss them, you have to show them.
You can't tell someone they're important to you, you have to show them.
November 30, 2016, I made a decision that being in an office all day wasn't the best thing for me.
I jumped in without thinking. I took a leap of faith.
I refused to be surrounded with people who were draining me of my energy.
I'm not someone that likes to complain when I know I can control the outcome.
Being 30 years old, I don't feel that much different than when I was 21.
What makes me feel physically good is the decision that I made over a decade ago to start working out and six years ago to change my nutrition.
My mom couldn't cook for me anymore because I refused to eat her food.
I couldn't hang out with my brother as much because I was too picky to eats chips and burgers every day.
I couldn't hang out with my friends because I didn't have the money to afford drinks or eat out multiple times a week.
I didn't want to let family or culture dictate the way did I lived.
When you choose to live life on your terms, it's going to come with a lot of lonely days, it's going to come with a lot of frustration, it's going to come with the days that test your will.
Why would any sane person choose to diet and workout when most of their friends & family will not participate.
Why would you want to put so much stress on your plate, when most of the people that love you will let you down?
Heavy Is The Head Who Wears The Crown
Leave a comment below on how you handle this?