Abel Mezemer 1/19/24 Abel Mezemer 1/19/24

12 Things I Learned In 2023...

The most precious thing you could give someone isn't your heart; it's your time.

One of the most important things you can learn in a relationship is your and your partner's love language – how you and your partner like to give and receive love. I feel most loved through words of affirmation and acts of service. If you don't know this about yourself, you will struggle with communicating your needs to others.

Like most people, I could improve with my first attempt at trying new things. This "new thing" I tried at 33 years old was my first relationship. It was hard enough for me to figure out who I was as a boyfriend and how to fulfill that role. Still, I made it almost impossible due to how much weed I was smoking and my new obsession with Call of Duty. To say I was toxic in the beginning is an understatement. It wasn't fair to her, and I shouldn't have been in a relationship.

You can give your heart to anyone and take them back when you lose feelings. Being on the receiving end of waiting for someone to redevelop feelings for you is a lesson you don't need to learn twice. The time you give someone is something you can't take back, nor should you take for granted. You make time for the things and people that matter to you. I hope you find someone capable of reciprocating your energy so you don't feel drained and defeated.

2. Who you're becoming is more important than who you've been.

You have no idea who you'll become five years from now, but you can influence that outcome today. The last time I was asked what my plan was for the next five years, I gave a bullshit answer, "I don't know. I'm gonna wake up and work." In hindsight, that wasn't an answer, and it didn't give my partner any assurance at the time. Nursing was always a backup plan for me if personal training didn't work. When 2020 happened, I didn't work hard enough to adjust to the times, which showed in my physique and business. I only took myself and my future seriously once I met someone special enough to change my situation.

I expedited becoming a nurse, completing prerequisites, and enrolling in an accelerated nursing program. I'm proud to say that I'm halfway through the accelerated program, on pace to fulfill my promise to someone else. In this lifetime, I've worked in finance twice, retail, sales, bartending, and personal training. Each place gave rise to where I am now, being the stepping stones I didn't know I would need. This goes for people, too. The person you're with now is probably practice for the next person you'll be with and end up with. If you're still a work in progress, the beauty in that struggle is that your story is unfinished, and you are the author. Focus on what's in your control.

3. There are endless opportunities to change your situation every day. You don't have to stay unhappy.

We live in a time where knowledge is at the edge of your fingertips, and if you want to learn something, it's just a Google search away. I love the power of the internet for the good it produces. I'm naturally an introvert and a homebody, so having a tool like social media allows me to communicate still and connect with other people who share my interests.

Whenever I was unhappy with my current situation, it sparked the urge to find something else. I was lucky enough to find a home gym at Structure Personal Fitness because it allowed me to increase my knowledge, work capacity, and income exponentially. I left a 9-5 corporate job to pursue personal training, and it was one of the scariest yet most rewarding risks I've taken until now.

Feeling stuck is another way of saying you don't dare to take the next step and do what you know is right for you. The consequences of staying unhappy for the sake of comfort or for someone else will kill any joy you have left inside of you. Things and people that no longer serve you will only contribute to the sinking ship you refuse to disembark.

4. People show you who they are through actions more than words. Good people don't make you feel small.

Good people can do shitty things the same way shitty people can do good things. The caveat is how long each phase lasts. Many lessons on this list derive from what I learned through a turbulent romantic relationship. What's in a person's heart comes to the light, and what looks good on paper doesn't necessarily pan out. I used to be a person who never forgave or forget. But the older I become, the more I learn that people make mistakes. It's not the mistake that defines you; it's how you show up to rectify those wrongs. People become more of who they are over time, not less.

5. Your first time will suck. Keep going.

It's discouraging to embark on a new journey and have little to show for your efforts. But the ones who found a way to last had to overcome many obstacles. So the question is, are you not good enough, or are you not in the right environment? I could have been a better personal trainer when I first started. If it weren't for meeting the right person at the right time, I would most likely still be stuck behind a computer, dreading my soul-sucking 9-5 job.

My first relationship proved to be more of a learning experience than an actual one. I thought I had found the perfect situation where I could continue following this new "dream" of being a video game streamer and visiting my long-distance girlfriend once a month. However, what I was doing was selfish. I gave up on being a personal trainer and took the easy way out – That life wasn't sustainable. I gave the most important person in my life the least amount of my time and the worst version of myself. It didn't take long for me to turn things around, but it took longer than it should have.

My first semester in nursing school almost resulted in my last semester. I graduated from college in 2010, and 13 years later, I was accepted into an accelerated nursing program. I didn't realize how difficult it was to acclimate back into studying and sitting in class on a daily basis. Luckily, it didn't take me long to adjust. While I feared not passing and becoming single again, I could weather both storms. I crushed the next semester for two reasons – I was used to how much work needed to be done, and I no longer wasted energy arguing about trivial things on a daily basis.

6. You can't speed up the growth process, but you can definitely slow it down or prevent success.

I'm patient when it comes to people and impatient with everything else. The journey can always be sped up if you work hard enough, but sometimes, slowing things down is beneficial. It takes time to get to know people, but no matter how much time you spend with someone, there will always be secrets – and that's okay. The only person you can fully trust is yourself. Then again, we all have temptations, and you're capable of letting yourself down – it's human to fall short sometimes.

It's easy to get caught up in distractions if you don't have discipline, and I develop discipline by relying on my schedule, not my feelings. I like the calming effect smoking has on me because it gets me to disassociate from the world and all the problems inside it. Another distraction I had to reduce was playing video games; they're another form of escapism and don't contribute to earning good grades. The last distraction I held onto for as long as I could was my ex. It took me a long time to realize many relationships don't last, no matter your efforts to find a resolution – let go of that anchor, and eventually, you'll find peace with solitude and absence.

7. Doing everything right doesn't guarantee a good outcome.

If you don't learn the lesson the first time, you're bound to repeat the same mistakes. When it comes to being a personal trainer, don't think you'll have a client forever just because you treat them well. Sometimes, factors outside your control can't be fixed – money being a primary motivator. Regarding nursing school, spending hours each day studying material doesn't mean you'll get an A on an exam. It would help to have time to sleep and decompress so the information can ruminate and stick. Similar to working out, you get stronger when you rest after working through resistance. Regarding relationships, doing the right things and being there for someone will not mean much to the wrong person. Compatibility will take you farther than chemistry.

8. Sometimes, the book you pick up has a catchy title, but that doesn't mean you have to finish reading the book.

I was with someone who went through every stage for almost two years before calling it quits. The most beautiful thing and scariest reality is how you can go from strangers to friends to lovers and back to strangers again, all within a year. Before meeting this woman, I convinced myself I didn't have time for feelings or a relationship, but that was a lie. Relationships are give and take, and I don't think I cared to give 100% of myself to anyone who wasn't paying for my time as a personal trainer.

I spent a long time chasing girls and making no money. That turned around when I became a personal trainer and focused on getting better at my job – I had money and attention from girls but no desire to pursue anything romantically.

I asked myself a question at the time of my first relationship, "Do you want this girl to be just another one or the first one?" There is no gain without risk and no loss without a lesson. One mistake I learned from is establishing a friendship as the foundation because love without stability is like standing on quicksand. The harder you fight, the deeper you sink.

9. Family is created. Strong relationships come through mutual suffering and perseverance.

I met some of my favorite people in the world at nursing school. I found people who have a similar interest and sense of humor. I found people who accepted me as I was, encouraged and motivated me to do better in school, and made me feel wanted and appreciated. "Go where you're celebrated, not tolerated." They were exactly who I needed when losing myself in a relationship. I am the type of person who tries to find the silver lining in every situation and make light of it. If you can find a reason to smile through the bullshit, I think you can make it through most hardships. I remember the first day I woke up single and thought, "How wonderful today is going to be that I don't have to say sorry."

10. Effort is attractive and rewarded.

I ran my first-ever race last year, doing the half marathon. I spent four months running and learning about my body throughout the process. I made time for running, stretching, strength training, working out, finishing my last prerequisites, getting into an accelerated nursing program, working as a personal trainer and online coach, and trying to be there for someone who didn't want me in their life or future. I was juggling too much at once, but I don't know how to quit on things and people that matter to me.

I completed the half-marathon, started nursing school, found a way to work still and make money, and was forced to put myself first again. I don't believe in coincidences. Our paths are already laid out for us, but they depend on our actions. I go for what feels right and work my ass off until the job's done.

11. The answer will always be no if you don't ask.

You can only ask more from someone if they can meet the bare minimum. When you reach that point, I hope you have the courage to ask yourself if you deserve more. And if you have to wonder, you already have the answer. Choose people who choose you, and you'll avoid a lifetime of headaches.

12. Nothing lasts forever. The storm will eventually turn into rainbows, and sunshine will change into rain.

Everything is temporary; some people should be in your life for only a season. I've learned to cherish the moments while you're still experiencing them. I tell people how much they mean to me because you don't know if it'll be your last time together or what people are going through personally. You won't have your mom forever, you have limited time with your new best friends in school, your schedule constantly changes with work, so you don't get to see your clients at the gym consistently, and you won't be a nursing student forever.

I hope you remember how loneliness in a relationship feels so you won't waste your time trying to fit a circle into a square again. I hope you learn from other people's mistakes to avoid the same struggles. Lastly, I hope you find time to pour into yourself the way you're willing to do so for others.

Abel Mezemer 1/13/23 Abel Mezemer 1/13/23

12 things I learned in 2022…

Work on your weaknesses but don’t lose sight of your strengths.
You can tell others about the things that happened to you, or the things you overcame. Which story would you like to hear about?
Treat others with kindness because you have no idea what someone else is going through. Some people need tough love, others just need love. Know your audience.
You’re never too old to change your path in life. Nothing changes if nothing changes. What you want in life exists and it is your responsibility to find it or create it.
Pleasure and happiness are not the same thing. Pleasure is temporary, empty, and meaningless. Happiness is timeless, experiential, and meaningful.
Home is where the heart is. Home can be a feeling or found in another person and I hope you can find that place every night before you fall asleep.
Find a therapist so you don’t exhaust your friendships.
Walking is underrated and underutilized. You can do this anywhere, at any time, and with anyone. If you’re feeling stuck, down, or unmotivated, movement creates action.
Once is a mistake, twice is a choice.
Everything you do and think doesn’t need to be shared. Delayed gratification helps build self-control as well as success in other areas of your life.
Put your phone away sometimes and live in the moment. Be where your feet are.
You’re only as boring as you allow yourself to be. Read more, try new things, and write about it.

Work on your weaknesses but don’t lose sight of your strengths.

2022 was the year I resumed therapy, journaling, and meditating. I used to deal with problems in my life in two ways: to work as much as possible and find ways to escape when I wasn't working. I didn’t want time to think about my feelings. The latter became a weakness that gave birth to other habits, turning me into someone I didn’t recognize. Worse than that, it made me someone I wouldn’t even want to be friends with.

From the inside looking out, I was the hero in my journey and everyone in my life played a certain role. It’s convenient to think of yourself in a positive light, but what if it’s at the detriment of others? What if you were the only person who thought about yourself like that? And from the outside looking in, you resemble more of a villain? Someone hard to talk to and someone who puts others down, especially those closest to you.

I wasn’t able to see myself how others saw me because my bad habits skewed my perception of reality. I didn’t start smoking or playing video games until March 2020 happened – which isn’t an excuse to become mean. It took me two years to begin implementing change. I lost myself, a lot of friendships, and first impressions I can never fix. I could go on and on about my weaknesses but you get the gist.

When it comes to strengths, one stands tall and stands out, belief. The ability to believe, have faith, and work towards bettering yourself is powerful. If I didn’t believe I was better than one of my lowest points in life, I wouldn’t have taken the first step to change. I took a deeper look into myself when others said the way I speak makes people feel bad about themselves. If I didn’t believe it was possible to change my career and trajectory, I would still be overweight and stagnant in an industry that wasn’t fulfilling.

2. You can tell others about the things that happened to you, or the things you overcame. Which story would you like to hear about?

Sometimes you become what you hate, and for me, that was being a victim. I always believed I was incapable of allowing life to happen to me and that I was stronger than my environment. Then the pandemic happened and I embarked on a self-destructive path that almost cost me my life. Not to sound hyperbolic, but in January 2022, I had my first personal health life scare. My blood pressure was 150/90, which is stage 2 hypertension, which also meant at any moment, I could drop dead. My heart was working overtime to keep me alive, someone ungrateful for their body.

If the saying “all good things must come to an end” is true, then so do bad things. In 2022: I gave up smoking, reduced playing video games, lost 60 lbs, refocused as a personal trainer, tackled my tax returns, and went back to school. Not bad, right?

3. Treat others with kindness because you have no idea what someone else is going through. Some people need tough love, others just need love. Know your audience.

Like the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you; so what could make doing this difficult? In my experience, ego and being selfish. When you don’t consider that other people might be having a bad day or a tough time, it’s easy to make everything about you. I’m someone who more often than not, has a constant negative inner monologue going on. I spend more time criticizing myself than giving myself grace or acknowledgment of what I’m doing a good job at.

Imagine someone you loved died, you got hit with a huge unexpected charge, or you no longer enjoyed your job, wouldn’t you want someone to be nice to you? Wouldn’t it be helpful to hear something nice from someone else?

4. You’re never too old to change your path in life. Nothing changes if nothing changes. What you want in life exists and it is your responsibility to find it or create it.

No matter where you are in your journey, it's always possible to make a pivot and start moving in a new direction. Life is changing and evolving, and so should you. It's important to remember that nothing changes if nothing changes. If you're not fulfilling your potential, it's up to you to take action and make the changes. The path to your dreams and goals may not be clear, but what's important is to keep moving forward. Take small steps and keep the attitude that what you're searching for exists and it is your responsibility to find it or create it.

I began my real corporate career journey at the age of 26 years old and within 2 years, left that for another career. I kept asking myself “Is this it? There has to be more to life” because the work was mundane, repetitive and soul-sucking. I studied and passed my NASM test to become a certified personal trainer and took a gamble. I turned 28 at the time and decided this was my opportunity to see what I'm made of. That gamble paid off and 6 years later, I’m still doing what I enjoy. I don’t say “love” because I realized that feeling didn’t exist anymore when the pandemic happened. I questioned what I wanted to do with my life because I became burned out and could no longer feel the passion.

My plan B was to go into nursing if personal training didn’t pan out the way I had hoped. I’m fortunate to have a job where I don't need to work full-time and it allows me time to go back to school. I'm excited to be going back to school to get into a new career so I could reach a couple of my life goals. I want to help as many people as possible and to never worry about money.

5. Pleasure and happiness are not the same thing. Pleasure is temporary, empty, and meaningless. Happiness is timeless, experiential, and meaningful.

I used to consider distractions something that made me happy. It's impossible to distract yourself 24/7 or else you’d never do anything meaningful in life. I used to wake up at 430 in the morning and wouldn’t come home till about 10 at night – rest and sleep were about the only things that made me happy. I was “changing the world” one client at a time, one workout at a time, one day at a time but something felt empty inside. I realize now that emptiness was a lack of hobbies. I didn’t have any hobbies or activities outside of work. I worked as much as I could for two reasons: I wanted to be the best personal trainer and if I made myself boring, no one would want to take up my time. That would give me more time to put into my business.

I hung out with friends or my family as little as possible, I didn’t read the news, I did nothing but work. I read articles and anything I could find on social media to learn and teach others a “better” way to live. If work is all you care about and you don’t feel empty when you come home, don’t change a thing. Even if society says you should have “balance”. I thought I found my last career, but certain beliefs change and evolve as you experience new people and new things. It's a good mentality to have if you’re interested in growth. Before I die, I want to say I tried everything I could think of and made unforgettable memories with people I care about.

6. Home is where the heart is. Home can be a feeling or found in another person and I hope you can find that place every night before you fall asleep.

Home is not only a physical place but also an emotion. It’s a feeling of belonging. It’s where you should feel safe and most comfortable to be yourself. I found that place in the gym a long time ago. It doesn’t matter what type of day I’m having or whether I want to work out or not, it helps me become more of who I want to be. The gym is where I learned how far curiosity and discipline can take you if you are consistent and have an imagination. I’ve also met a lot of great human beings in the gym and the quality I find to be most common is a desire to get better.

I could write a book about this next part because of how much it’s affected my life but in the interest of brevity, I got into my first relationship. I didn’t allow myself the space to open up to someone until I was 32 turning 33 years old. I chose this person to be with for many qualities and what stood out the most was how this person made me feel. I felt comfortable to be myself, I felt accepted, I felt joy, and above all, she felt like home to me. No matter where we are in the world, when I’m right next to her, it feels like it’s exactly where I should be.

7. Find a therapist so you don’t exhaust your friendships.

I’m an open book to most people I meet and that’s a great quality to have until you start to drain people with your energy. I can make most stories entertaining but when it comes to complaining, you can only do so much with dirt. That’s how I view complaining, like someone dumping dirt on you. I believe if you have the energy to complain about a situation, you also have the energy to change it. I’d rather spend my time figuring out how to change something I don’t like happening to me. The alternative is being a victim and adding negative energy to someone else’s day.

I found a therapist to work with last summer and it’s been life-changing. You can spill all your feelings onto someone prepared to handle it as well as give you constructive feedback. It’s important to see ourselves the way others do because you’re not always aware of how the things you say affects others. I’ve learned that my intentions aren’t always aligned with my impact and when someone is opening up to me, listen without having a fix or solution ready.

8. Walking is underrated and underutilized.

You can do this anywhere, at any time, and with anyone.

If you’re feeling stuck, down, or unmotivated, movement creates action.

In January 2022, I got a reality check that my blood pressure was 150/90 and I had 3 months to fix it or else I’d have to use blood pressure medication. I researched ways to reduce this number and one of them, to my surprise, was to walk. According to the CDC, you need 150 minutes of low to moderate intensity or 75 minutes of high intensity cardio. I began walking on a treadmill for 20-60 mins a day for an average of 5 days a week. I started this in March and by June, along with eating better and exercising regularly, my blood pressure dropped to 120/67. It’s a moment I’ll never forget and has benefited my life in more ways than one. I was able to breathe easier and my strength training workouts became less strenuous.

9. Once is a mistake, twice is a choice.

Most people think you need to be perfect with your diet and exercise routine and that you're a failure if you slip up. When it comes to your health you’re not a robot. The majority of foods you eat should align with your goal(s) and the same goes for workouts. Your workout routine should improve your health and keep you consistent. If your diet is so strict that you feel miserable and end up giving up after a few days or weeks, that isn’t sustainable. If your workout routine involves too many HIIT workouts, that isn’t sustainable either.

The pandemic was the first time in almost a decade that I let a mistake change my body in a detrimental way. Cheat meals became frequent as well as skipping workouts. I was fortunate enough to have access to a private gym during the first few months where mostly everyone was training from home. But, this is when I developed a poor mindset. I didn’t see the point in keeping up a routine because the world had shut down. I turned myself into someone I didn’t recognize and the unhealthy, toxic traits I didn’t know existed came out. I lost hope, I lost friends, and I lost my sense of purpose for almost two years.

What I’ve learned from going through that phase of my life is it doesn’t matter how much someone else wants you to change if you don’t want it for yourself. Sometimes you need to feel really low and stay there for a while – think of it like a recipe for success. Success isn’t a straight upward trending line. Success has peaks and troughs and you can’t rush either period. I spent years living in a “peak” with my body so it’s only fair that I spend some time in a trough period. The insight I’ve relearned has changed the way I communicate with others, especially when it comes to the meaning of what health looks and feels like. I’m chasing longevity and to help others do the same – think long-term.

10. Everything you do and think doesn’t need to be shared. Delayed gratification helps build self-control as well as success in other areas of your life.

It is important to remember that you don't need to share everything that you do or think with others. In fact, it can be healthy to keep certain aspects of your life private. If you can delay gratification, it can help you build self-control and greater success in other areas of your life. By learning to hold off on short-term pleasure, you can develop the discipline and willpower necessary to achieve your goals. Some people find gratification in talking about things they want to do and never try, be the person who does more than they speak of.

11. Put your phone away sometimes and live in the moment.

Be where your feet are.

One important lesson I learned last year is to put your phone away sometimes and to immerse yourself in the present moment. Being constantly connected to your phone can make it difficult to be present in the here and now. It also prevents you from experiencing the world around you. Whether you're spending time with loved ones, going for a walk, or traveling, it's important to take breaks from technology. The art of being present helps you improve your relationships as well as increase your sense of well-being. You are on a life-long pursuit of happiness and you get closer to that goal when you create more meaningful memories.

12. You’re only as boring as you allow yourself to be.

2019: Year Of Offense

I was 24 years old.

I just had a second operation on my chest. I was “diagnosed” with gynecomastia. Some people call them "large male breasts", others call them "Bitch Tits", either way, it was something I struggled with my entire childhood & was going to take over my adult life…

I had this same operation a year prior. Long story short, we decided to take a risk and have a no-scar-surgery that would eliminate this problem that became a part of my identity. It didn’t work and I suffered another year of insecurity because every time I looked in the mirror, I saw two reasons why I wasn’t a man, I wasn’t attractive, I wasn’t good enough…

The first tattoo I got was to cover my scars…

Two years of diet & training. The first time I looked in the mirror shocked at what I saw…

I was 25 years old.

What started out as another night out with my best friend, ended up being the night I met the girl of my dreams, or so I thought. We got into an argument because I took the side of the girl that he was dating at the time. I was always a third wheel, something I've grown accustomed to being, again, I was getting closer to the body that I wanted but still miles away from the confidence I needed. My best friend left me to go do a DJ gig, my phone was on 3%, if felt like my world was coming to an end. I relied on Austin for my social life. I’m an introvert & a homebody by nature. I was also broke as shit so I told myself I was the lucky one that he even wanted to be friends with me & take me places. The only thing that was on my mind was getting to him so I could apologize. Despite having a few drinks in my system, I was able to locate him and we immediately had a conversation. Next thing I know, I get a tap on my shoulder followed by the question: "are you QuoteAbel?”. It was from the girl that I was in love with through Instagram.

Eight months later, on and off dating, the main thing that I feared from day one finally happened. So afraid to lose something I work so hard at making last, I was blind sided with "we need to talk”. It wasn’t the closure conversation that saves you years of frustration & suicidal-depression, it was the type of conversation that fuels insecurity & kills any type of dignity you had. It was the second & last time I gave everything I had to one woman. Despite my valiant efforts, I wasn’t assertive, I wasn’t a man, I wasn’t good enough…

I was 28 years old.

I was two years into my corporate job, I was making good money for the first time in my life, I was also a soulless zombie. My prior years of creativity were dead. I didn’t care about music, I didn’t care about poetry, I didn’t care about anything besides working, working out & making more money. 6 months prior, I finally decided to study for my personal training certification. I couldn’t last one more second at that job but wasn’t assertive or man enough to leave. The people around me were negative, the commute was always crowded, the gym was always packed, I was living for the weekends.

August 2016, after 6 months of spending all my free time studying, I passed the NASM CPT test. FUCKING ECSTATIC! I spent the next month training a few friends for cheap just to get experience & money in. September 2016, I spent my birthday in Dominican Republic. I could get used to this. Work 9-5 & train people afterwards until I had enough clients/money to leave that soul-sucking job. It’s funny whenever you think you have a plan of how things will go, the universe likes to throw a wrench in there to show you who’s the real boss. I came back from DR & we had a meeting (something that never happens unless it’s bad news). Long story short, no one in that department had a job anymore & we had two months to figure out what to do next. I stayed on for the transition period & after two months, I was offered another position in the company or, take my severance & look for something else. I just turned 28 years old. I didn’t have any real responsibilities. I didn’t have a girlfriend or a child. This was it for me. This was my chance to see what I was made of. It was my time to see if the life I wanted to live was possible. No one was going to baby me anymore. How great do you want to be? How bad do you want it? Are you good enough?

I’m 30 years old.

I’m at my 3rd personal training job.

It took me almost two years to feel comfortable in this profession.

Two years of failing, doubting myself, & grinding.

What I’ve learned is the harder you work, the faster the results come.

What’s overwhelming at the beginning, becomes routine after a few months.

If you do right by people, help out as many people as you can for free, experience & character grows exponentially.

When you focus on becoming a better version of yourself daily, instead of comparing yourself to others, that momentum lands you new opportunities.

If you live in your truth, no one can own you.

OVER DELIVER EVERY TIME!

Consistency > Perfection

Discipline > Motivation

Waiting for closure is like holding your breath, it feels like you’re dying the longer time passes.

If you give up, you’ll never reach your goals.

Which brings us to the title of this blog, Offense. It took me 30 years to realize why I’m not where I want to be yet. I was waiting for someone to save me. I was waiting for things to happen. I was waiting for permission, to be told it’s okay for you to try a little harder now, you’re ready for what’s next. The truth is, you’ll never be ready for what’s next until you start now. I thought surgery was going to fix my body image issues, I thought Angela was going to be the last girl I was ever with, I thought that 9-5 was going to be the last job I ever had… There’s a few things I’m certain of, if you don’t like your body, do something about it. If you don’t like your job, do something about it. If you don’t like feeling hopeless, do something about it!

The road to becoming is a long journey that will test your faith, resiliency & strength.

Every “no” is a speed bump, not a dead end.

& If you’re good enough, NO ONE is stopping you... You’re more than capable.

If you want to lose weight, google is your best friend, or hire a coach.

If you want to get further in business, read a shit load of “how to’s”, or hire a mentor.

You have a gift & a story that needs to be shared, to save someone else’s life, to remind them that things they wish for, dream about, cry about is possible with faith & work. Sacrifice something now for something better in the future.

Here’s to a productive & offensive 2019.

Abel Mezemer 12/25/18 Abel Mezemer 12/25/18

Alone For The Holidays

“You’re always in the gym”

I left home at the age of 13. I was lucky enough to receive an academic scholarship through ABC (A Better Chance). It was at a time when I was become rebellious & hated rules. I needed structure.

When I arrived at the ABC house in Swarthmore, PA, it was a culture shock. I moved from the inner city into the suburbs outside philly & it was nothing like I expected it to be. I wasn’t adventurous but I was always up for a challenge (& to get away from home).

Growing up, my dad became sick & it got progressively worse year after year until May 2009. My mom took on more responsibility than she wanted or was prepared for & my brother was doing whatever he wanted.

When we were young, my parents didn’t want me in the streets so they bought me every video game I wanted if I did well in school. Growing up, I couldn’t wait to get home from school, speed through homework & play video games with my brothers for hours on end.

But when I got to Swarthmore, video games for hours until bed wasn’t allowed. It was school, extra curricular activities (for me was football then track), dinner with everyone, 2 hours of study hall minimum then you had an hour ish to get ready for bed then school the next day.

When it came to the weekends, what I was deprived of all week was made up with Madden & Halo. I was a beast. I was also an introvert, shy, & horrible with making friends or talking to girls.

I came home for the holidays & the summer. Home meant taking care of my sick dad, being around my stressed mom & seeing my brother who was amazing at basketball, girls & had a ton of friends. So what did I do? You prolly guessed it. Video games alone. In the summer I’d play basketball with my brother but I wasn’t very good. I was big & loved playing defense so I was a good pick up. I didn’t want the ball unless it was to make an assist.

I’m getting off topic. Why am I posting this?

Because I had no confidence in myself growing up. I stepped into the gym when I was young for vain reasons. I wanted the body that girls gawked over, a star athlete, & to be popular. I basically wanted attention because I wasn’t getting enough of it anywhere else.

I step into the weight room now because I know what hours of sacrifice & discipline will result in. A strong body & mind. The holidays are still a reminder that even when you’re celebrating, there’s people who are suffering with no end in sight. So… If you had the opportunity to spend it with your family, cherish that.