12 Hours in LA with Ben Bruno
Ben is by far one of the nicest people I’ve met and smartest trainers I know.
I was introduced to Ben’s Instagram a couple years ago and I’ve been a fan ever since.
I remember saying this is exactly who I want to be like.
A sarcastic, funny, GREAT trainer. Smart enough and capable of training anyone but normal enough to be relatable.
I slid in his DMs December 2018 after he mentioned he was looking for an assistant. I didn’t care if it was paid or not, I’d fly across the country and learn from this guy because I believed in him and believed I’d become a better trainer from that experience.
The DM didn’t get seen but the work continued.
Now a year later, I finally got a chance to meet Ben through his mentorship program.
Ben is one of those people where you’re surprised by how caring and accommodating he is. In a world filled with influencers and trainers with oversized egos, Ben is neither.
Once I got passed the initial shock of who I was in standing in front of, it was like catching up with one of my best friends. We also spent an unexpected hour on the phone prior to meeting up just to get a feel for each other and within 10 minutes of that convo, I knew we were going to hit it off.
I arrived at his place around noon. Afterwards we went to his favorite restaurant to eat breakfast and this where I learned about his training history as well as update him on my journey.
Ben took me on a hike at Franklin Canyon, the less busy canyon lol, and this is where we talked about life in general getting to know each other on a more personal level.
After the hike, went back to Ben’s place, talked about his on-boarding process for new clients, how he’s been able to have clients for 6 years + and projects he’s currently working on.
Later that night, Ben knew that I wanted to expand my online fitness business so he was thoughtful enough to hit up two of his friends Kelsey and Dennis, co-founders of HiitBurn, to have dinner with us. I was able to connect with these people only because Ben made it happen. I got to learn about their online training philosophy and process which helped me understand something very important.
If you want to be successful, anytime you’re met with an opportunity, the mentality has to be “whatever it takes” or else you’ll end up justifying all of your excuses.
I want to leave you with this quote from Ben:
““The secret to how I got here was hard work, pushing through and help from good people along the way” ”
Ben helped me realize the value and potential I have as a trainer as well as seeing the bigger picture.
Forever grateful for this opportunity and his friendship.
Depression & Being A Personal Trainer
A note I voice wrote in my Evernote App when it happened…
I think I am finally back to operating normally. What I mean by that is I had an episode last week. I’ve never been clinically diagnosed with depression but what I felt last week was the reminder that I need to treat myself better. I go through phases of ups and downs like everyone does but my downs make me not want to come into work, talk to anyone at all, or even leave the bed. I couldn’t fake being positive, I didn’t care for my #gymmornings, I honestly didn’t care to exist at all.
The difference I feel today is the complete opposite. Sleep deprivation amplifies bad to worse and for me I’m no good to anyone when I’m getting 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. Catching up on Sundays sleeping like 12 hrs is no way to live. Be careful what you pride yourself in because that means this is how you define yourself and how other people see you. Abel works hard, he’s always at the gym, he’s always training, he’s always positive, how does he do it?
The answer is simple.
I know what low feels like. I know what lonely feels like. I know what it feels like to not have money to buy food. I know what rejection feels like. I know what losing a parent feels like. I know what it feels like to not be there for the only parent you have left. I know what it feels like to be a disappointment to someone. I know what it feels like wishing things would get better for years…
I never want to feel those feelings again so I bust my ass to make as much money as I can but at what cost?
I also know that these feelings come and go. It’s the natural ebb and flow of life. I know that where you’re at now is preparing you for what’s to come. I know that today it’s raining but tomorrow will be the sunshine. We just have to wait out the storm and know that the rainbow is on its way.
Here’s a video to supplement my written feelings…
Reduce Shoulder Pain with 10 Exercises: Resistance-Band Edition
Here’s a perfect shoulder routine to reduce pain significantly.
Shoulder pain sucks, you know it because you’re on this page hoping to find a solution and to that, I want to say CONGRATULATIONS!
The only piece of equipment you’ll need for these is a resistance band.
Before we get into the exercises, the majority of people I come across who suffer from shoulder pain have similar tendencies. They include:
Shoulders being internally rotated for long periods of the day, think being hunched over a desk.
A lot of pressing versus pulling, think push ups instead of rows or pull ups/downs.
Using bad form with pressing movements. For example: push ups, bench press, shoulder press, and lateral raises.
The remedy for this problem is going to explained below. I want you to learn why these exercises should reduce shoulder pain for you. The reason being most people only work the muscles they can see. If you’re not giving love to the muscles you can’t see, they become weak, jealous, and vindictive. These exercises are going to focus on opening you up, rotating your shoulders out and back. The stronger your upper back and rear delts become, the less pain you’ll have in the front of your shoulders. The better posture you’ll have, the more confident you will be and appear to people.
Banded External Rotation
(1-3 Sets. 10-20 Reps)
You want to feel this in the side of your shoulder.
Don’t let your elbow extend further away from your body as you pull the band with your hand away from the attached point.
Banded Lateral Raises
(1-3 Sets. 10-20 Reps)
You’re going to feel this in the side of your shoulder if done right, not in your traps where some people feel this movement.
Raise your arms up to shoulder height with your palms facing down, arms slightly bent at about 45 degrees in front of you.
The magic here is controlling the descent, the slower and controlled this movement is coming back to your body, the more you’re going to feel this exercise.
Banded Pass Throughs
(1-3 Sets. 10-20 Reps)
Face away from the attached point.
Palms facing in front of you.
Elbows at shoulder height.
Hands above shoulders.
Walk out to a distance where the band feels tight.
Rotate your hands forward till they’re parallel with the floor stopping at shoulder height then return back to starting position with your hands above your shoulders.
Main thing here is to not let your elbows dip as your rotate your hands forward and back.
Banded Pull Aparts (T’s)
(1-3 Sets. 10-20 Reps)
You’re going to feel this in the back of your shoulders, upper back, traps, and lats.
Arms extended in front of you, palms facing down, bring your shoulder blades down to the floor and behind you to feel a squeeze beneath your armpits.
Keep your arms extended and bring them to your sides forming a T shape.
Banded Scarecrows
(1-3 Sets. 10-20 Reps)
You’re going to feel this in the top/back part of your shoulder.
Set the band at or below shoulder height.
Keep your elbows at shoulder height.
Main thing here is to not let elbows dip.
Banded Straight Arm Lat Pulldown
(1-3 Sets. 10-20 Reps)
You’re going to feel this in your upper back, shoulders, lats, and triceps.
Grip the bands with thumbs facing up, hips shooting back, arms extended and aligned with your upper body.
As you bring your arms towards you hips, keep your shoulder blades pressed down and back squeezing the bottom of your arm pits.
Banded Y-Raise
(1-3 Sets. 10-20 Reps)
The Y to the MCA. You want to feel this in the top/back part of your shoulder, upper back and traps.
Keep your elbows slightly bent.
Your arms should finish slightly behind your body.
Be careful not to let your neck jerk forward and control your traps from shrugging.
Standing Banded High Row
(1-3 Sets. 10-20 Reps)
You’re going to feel this not only in the back of your shoulders but also your upper back and traps.
Think about opening up your chest as you pull back with your elbows as well as your shoulders.
If you don’t pull back with your shoulders, you’re going to feel this only in your arms and make the pain in the front of your shoulders worse.
Standing Banded Row
(1-3 Sets. 10-20 Reps)
You’re going to feel this in the back of your shoulder, upper back, and lats.
Palms facing each other, soft knees, pull your elbows and shoulder blades back till you feel a squeeze.
If you don’t pull back with your shoulders, you’re going to feel this only in your arms and make the pain in the front of your shoulders worse.
Standing Snow Angels
(1-3 Sets. 3-5 Reps)
You’re going to feel this throughout your whole shoulder, upper back and traps.
Standing in a T position, arms extended, palms facing in front of you.
Begin with a reverse fly, raise your arms above your head, then back down to your sides in a controlled manner
Avoid speeding up the movement and raising your traps.
If at any point, you feel pain when performing these exercises, skip it or record yourself doing it and send me a video here: abel.y.mezemer@gmail.com. I’ll be able to look at your form and make any adjustments.
2019: Year Of Offense
I was 24 years old.
I just had a second operation on my chest. I was “diagnosed” with gynecomastia. Some people call them "large male breasts", others call them "Bitch Tits", either way, it was something I struggled with my entire childhood & was going to take over my adult life…
I had this same operation a year prior. Long story short, we decided to take a risk and have a no-scar-surgery that would eliminate this problem that became a part of my identity. It didn’t work and I suffered another year of insecurity because every time I looked in the mirror, I saw two reasons why I wasn’t a man, I wasn’t attractive, I wasn’t good enough…
The first tattoo I got was to cover my scars…
Two years of diet & training. The first time I looked in the mirror shocked at what I saw…
I was 25 years old.
What started out as another night out with my best friend, ended up being the night I met the girl of my dreams, or so I thought. We got into an argument because I took the side of the girl that he was dating at the time. I was always a third wheel, something I've grown accustomed to being, again, I was getting closer to the body that I wanted but still miles away from the confidence I needed. My best friend left me to go do a DJ gig, my phone was on 3%, if felt like my world was coming to an end. I relied on Austin for my social life. I’m an introvert & a homebody by nature. I was also broke as shit so I told myself I was the lucky one that he even wanted to be friends with me & take me places. The only thing that was on my mind was getting to him so I could apologize. Despite having a few drinks in my system, I was able to locate him and we immediately had a conversation. Next thing I know, I get a tap on my shoulder followed by the question: "are you QuoteAbel?”. It was from the girl that I was in love with through Instagram.
Eight months later, on and off dating, the main thing that I feared from day one finally happened. So afraid to lose something I work so hard at making last, I was blind sided with "we need to talk”. It wasn’t the closure conversation that saves you years of frustration & suicidal-depression, it was the type of conversation that fuels insecurity & kills any type of dignity you had. It was the second & last time I gave everything I had to one woman. Despite my valiant efforts, I wasn’t assertive, I wasn’t a man, I wasn’t good enough…
Hollywood Millz
Angela
I was 28 years old.
I was two years into my corporate job, I was making good money for the first time in my life, I was also a soulless zombie. My prior years of creativity were dead. I didn’t care about music, I didn’t care about poetry, I didn’t care about anything besides working, working out & making more money. 6 months prior, I finally decided to study for my personal training certification. I couldn’t last one more second at that job but wasn’t assertive or man enough to leave. The people around me were negative, the commute was always crowded, the gym was always packed, I was living for the weekends.
August 2016, after 6 months of spending all my free time studying, I passed the NASM CPT test. FUCKING ECSTATIC! I spent the next month training a few friends for cheap just to get experience & money in. September 2016, I spent my birthday in Dominican Republic. I could get used to this. Work 9-5 & train people afterwards until I had enough clients/money to leave that soul-sucking job. It’s funny whenever you think you have a plan of how things will go, the universe likes to throw a wrench in there to show you who’s the real boss. I came back from DR & we had a meeting (something that never happens unless it’s bad news). Long story short, no one in that department had a job anymore & we had two months to figure out what to do next. I stayed on for the transition period & after two months, I was offered another position in the company or, take my severance & look for something else. I just turned 28 years old. I didn’t have any real responsibilities. I didn’t have a girlfriend or a child. This was it for me. This was my chance to see what I was made of. It was my time to see if the life I wanted to live was possible. No one was going to baby me anymore. How great do you want to be? How bad do you want it? Are you good enough?
Collateral Analyst. After hours
Puerto Plata, DR
I’m 30 years old.
I’m at my 3rd personal training job.
It took me almost two years to feel comfortable in this profession.
Two years of failing, doubting myself, & grinding.
What I’ve learned is the harder you work, the faster the results come.
What’s overwhelming at the beginning, becomes routine after a few months.
If you do right by people, help out as many people as you can for free, experience & character grows exponentially.
When you focus on becoming a better version of yourself daily, instead of comparing yourself to others, that momentum lands you new opportunities.
If you live in your truth, no one can own you.
OVER DELIVER EVERY TIME!
Consistency > Perfection
Discipline > Motivation
Waiting for closure is like holding your breath, it feels like you’re dying the longer time passes.
If you give up, you’ll never reach your goals.
Which brings us to the title of this blog, Offense. It took me 30 years to realize why I’m not where I want to be yet. I was waiting for someone to save me. I was waiting for things to happen. I was waiting for permission, to be told it’s okay for you to try a little harder now, you’re ready for what’s next. The truth is, you’ll never be ready for what’s next until you start now. I thought surgery was going to fix my body image issues, I thought Angela was going to be the last girl I was ever with, I thought that 9-5 was going to be the last job I ever had… There’s a few things I’m certain of, if you don’t like your body, do something about it. If you don’t like your job, do something about it. If you don’t like feeling hopeless, do something about it!
The road to becoming is a long journey that will test your faith, resiliency & strength.
Every “no” is a speed bump, not a dead end.
& If you’re good enough, NO ONE is stopping you... You’re more than capable.
If you want to lose weight, google is your best friend, or hire a coach.
If you want to get further in business, read a shit load of “how to’s”, or hire a mentor.
You have a gift & a story that needs to be shared, to save someone else’s life, to remind them that things they wish for, dream about, cry about is possible with faith & work. Sacrifice something now for something better in the future.
Here’s to a productive & offensive 2019.
Structure Personal Fitness
Heavy Is The Head Who Wears The Crown
There’s people in this world who honestly have no friends or family left… then there’s people like me.
I have a Mom, Brother & Niece. I have plenty of friends that I can call or text everyday w/o any limitations.
However, This was me on Thanksgiving Day 2018.
I just checked my photos app from a year ago & also… no picture of food, family or friends.
I like to rely on the descriptions “introvert” & “homebody” as my reasons aka excuses for wanting to be alone a majority of the time & excluding myself from get togethers.
What this technique has brought me is distance vs the things in life we enjoy but can’t buy, love.
If you’re feeling sorry for me at this point, don’t.
I believe every adult is more than capable of choosing his/her fate.
You can’t have your cake & eat it too.
You can’t have the space for quiet as well as the presence of love.
You can't be selfish with other people's time when it's convenient for you.
A day that's created for busy people to connect with the people that they love, I chose to spend it doing the "important thing" that I value.
How did I get here?
I chose myself again and again to the point where I didn't make time for others.
You can't tell someone that you miss them, you have to show them.
You can't tell someone they're important to you, you have to show them.
November 30, 2016, I made a decision that being in an office all day wasn't the best thing for me.
I jumped in without thinking. I took a leap of faith.
I refused to be surrounded with people who were draining me of my energy.
I'm not someone that likes to complain when I know I can control the outcome.
Being 30 years old, I don't feel that much different than when I was 21.
What makes me feel physically good is the decision that I made over a decade ago to start working out and six years ago to change my nutrition.
My mom couldn't cook for me anymore because I refused to eat her food.
I couldn't hang out with my brother as much because I was too picky to eats chips and burgers every day.
I couldn't hang out with my friends because I didn't have the money to afford drinks or eat out multiple times a week.
I didn't want to let family or culture dictate the way did I lived.
When you choose to live life on your terms, it's going to come with a lot of lonely days, it's going to come with a lot of frustration, it's going to come with the days that test your will.
Why would any sane person choose to diet and workout when most of their friends & family will not participate.
Why would you want to put so much stress on your plate, when most of the people that love you will let you down?
Heavy Is The Head Who Wears The Crown
Leave a comment below on how you handle this?
Defining 30...
I’ve been thinking about “30” for a long time now… I thought I would feel old & useless, instead, I feel rejuvenated. I found a path in life that allows me to put forth my best qualities on display to have a positive impact on others. “Influencer”, not the ones you see on social media that make you question the definition or your own worth, but a real-life influencer is what I’ve been told I am. I wanted to spend this birthday on a beach somewhere away from everyone & everything just to decompress or maybe just flex on the ‘gram. A recent conversation with a good friend reminded me that wasn’t necessary & here’s why:
The word “Grind” was something I only saw my Mom do for years.
I didn’t understand it because I couldn’t feel it.
She never complained about her workload to me.
She allowed me for years to follow my passion for words & try to become an Artist.
Years…
We had our arguments here & there but she wanted me to be happy, that’s the most important thing a parent cares about.
When that didn’t pan out how I planned, I went back to the corporate world & she was proud.
But it didn’t take long for that happiness to fade.
I had income but I wasn’t producing or creating anything to be proud of…
What I did for fun/therapy was workout. That’s pretty much the only thing that consumed my thoughts during my 9-5.
I finally decided if there was ANYTHING in this world I would pour my everything into… it would be this lifestyle.
I left my secure job two years ago, to the dismay of my mom, & ventured into the world of personal training.
What’s funny about that situation is that the “secure” job I had folded because the department was sold to another bank.
Nothing on Earth is secure. You wake up everyday & try to make sense of the chaos in this world.
A few months into training, I saw Gary V on the breakfast club & instantly became a fan.
After watching countless #DailyVee episodes, I found out he had a personal PERSONAL trainer. Mike Vacanti. Not the usual “see me x times/week”. He was full on Gary’s trainer EVERYday EVERYwhere. I was blown away.
Now I had a new idol/person to aspire to be.
I watched Mike’s daily vlogs, read his articles on his website, download his app & started tracking my macros.
Nothing happens by chance/coincidence. You’re meant to be exactly where you are.
Exactly one year ago in early September, I finally met this legend & it changed my life forever.
He got me an opportunity at my current training job @structurepf with another great mentor @coachkevindineen.
A year later, we talk regularly, hangout when our schedules lineup & I made two appearances on his vlog.
"This is just a taste of what the life could be”
I don’t know exactly how to describe this.
I graduated from Bucknell University in 2010.
I thought I was going to take my Economics/Sociology degree & do something in finance for the rest of my life.
That was my plan.
I didn’t get the job I wanted for another 5 years. In that time, I went from whatever job to job just to have something to do.
I explored a path in the music industry that revealed I didn’t really have the passion for it.
My mom watched her son struggle everyday trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life.
If my dad was around & healthy, I'm sure I would received the tough love I needed to get my shit together.
But he wasn’t around & my mom had too much on her plate. I was selfish.
I was able bodied to do more than her but weak minded.
In that time also, I changed my body drastically & lost 55 lbs in 3 years.
I wanted to be a fitness model because I thought that’s just what happens when your body looks good & you’re strong.
I was told to be a trainer but I told people I wasn’t certified or good enough for that (ha)
I fell in love & got my heart broken twice in that timespan…
I say all that to say this, I learned to be kind & caring from my dad. I learned to work hard & focus from my mom.
This life & lifestyle would have never happened without her.
If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be here (literally) or the man I am today.
On my 30th year of life, this feeling I don’t know how to describe is…. I’m Happy.
I’m not lost anymore.
I found something I’m good at & I enjoy doing everyday.
I found a way to connect with other & help people everyday.
I found my way & myself through depression & rejection.
Forever Grateful & Thankful
Love you all.