Defining 30...

I’ve been thinking about “30” for a long time now… I thought I would feel old & useless, instead, I feel rejuvenated. I found a path in life that allows me to put forth my best qualities on display to have a positive impact on others. “Influencer”, not the ones you see on social media that make you question the definition or your own worth, but a real-life influencer is what I’ve been told I am. I wanted to spend this birthday on a beach somewhere away from everyone & everything just to decompress or maybe just flex on the ‘gram. A recent conversation with a good friend reminded me that wasn’t necessary & here’s why:

The word “Grind” was something I only saw my Mom do for years.

I didn’t understand it because I couldn’t feel it.

She never complained about her workload to me.

She allowed me for years to follow my passion for words & try to become an Artist.

Years…

We had our arguments here & there but she wanted me to be happy, that’s the most important thing a parent cares about.

When that didn’t pan out how I planned, I went back to the corporate world & she was proud.

But it didn’t take long for that happiness to fade.

I had income but I wasn’t producing or creating anything to be proud of…

What I did for fun/therapy was workout. That’s pretty much the only thing that consumed my thoughts during my 9-5.

I finally decided if there was ANYTHING in this world I would pour my everything into… it would be this lifestyle.

I left my secure job two years ago, to the dismay of my mom, & ventured into the world of personal training.

What’s funny about that situation is that the “secure” job I had folded because the department was sold to another bank.

Nothing on Earth is secure. You wake up everyday & try to make sense of the chaos in this world.

A few months into training, I saw Gary V on the breakfast club & instantly became a fan.

After watching countless #DailyVee episodes, I found out he had a personal PERSONAL trainer. Mike Vacanti. Not the usual “see me x times/week”. He was full on Gary’s trainer EVERYday EVERYwhere. I was blown away.

Now I had a new idol/person to aspire to be.

I watched Mike’s daily vlogs, read his articles on his website, download his app & started tracking my macros.

Nothing happens by chance/coincidence. You’re meant to be exactly where you are.

Exactly one year ago in early September, I finally met this legend & it changed my life forever.

He got me an opportunity at my current training job @structurepf with another great mentor @coachkevindineen.

A year later, we talk regularly, hangout when our schedules lineup & I made two appearances on his vlog.

"This is just a taste of what the life could be”

I don’t know exactly how to describe this.

I graduated from Bucknell University in 2010.

I thought I was going to take my Economics/Sociology degree & do something in finance for the rest of my life. 

That was my plan.

I didn’t get the job I wanted for another 5 years. In that time, I went from whatever job to job just to have something to do.

I explored a path in the music industry that revealed I didn’t really have the passion for it.

My mom watched her son struggle everyday trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life.

If my dad was around & healthy, I'm sure I would received the tough love I needed to get my shit together.

But he wasn’t around & my mom had too much on her plate. I was selfish.

I was able bodied to do more than her but weak minded.

In that time also, I changed my body drastically & lost 55 lbs in 3 years.

I wanted to be a fitness model because I thought that’s just what happens when your body looks good & you’re strong.

I was told to be a trainer but I told people I wasn’t certified or good enough for that (ha)

 I fell in love & got my heart broken twice in that timespan…

I say all that to say this, I learned to be kind & caring from my dad. I learned to work hard & focus from my mom. 

This life & lifestyle would have never happened without her.

If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be here (literally) or the man I am today.

On my 30th year of life, this feeling I don’t know how to describe is…. I’m Happy.

I’m not lost anymore.

I found something I’m good at & I enjoy doing everyday.

I found a way to connect with other & help people everyday.

I found my way & myself through depression & rejection.

Forever Grateful & Thankful

Love you all.